Women = Confusion 🥺

See ehn! We women, our head is not correct rara. Like why are we so complicated? Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel for these men but like I always say “Stay wicked, Queens”. Men love wickedness and who are we if not gracious queens to give them what they so desire?

There’s this friend of mine I liked for like two weeks (There’s a reason I used past tense. Nobody should ask me anything). We talk a lot(duhhhh we are good friends) but my biggest issue is/was that he wasn’t readily available. I can be having an emergency and he no go pick call or reply messages as the hyper independent person he is. Me that I’m constantly ranting about stuff. Abeg o! I no do emotionally distant romance. I feel like this is as a result of my relationship with the Holy Spirit because if my Father and His Spirit are so readily available to me, why should you as my partner decide to be distant? Please please please!

Anyway, someone followed me on Twitter yesterday (as at the time I Dey write this blogpost) and immediately, he wanted to know all about me. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have minded a google document of my life history coupled with my medical records. I was torn between thinking pe he be yahoo boy wey wan tiff my future money because as I Dey like this, if you try to clear my account, you’ll have mercy on me and drop money inside or that he wanted to use me for juju because remain tintinli like this for him to ask me for my mother’s name.

Throughout the third degree interrogation, I was super polite. I spoke up when he was being too personal and asking things like my house location and phone number but I answered the ones that seemed basic like what state are you from and my relationship status. At intervals, I would leave his messages pending because I just wasn’t interested in the conversation. However, I decided to reply the last one at 12:50am as I had calculated that this brother for don Dey sleep so he’d see it in the morning and by the time his reply came, I would be able to use work as an excuse *inserts that Sabinus strategy meme*.

Lo and behold, this brother replied immediately. Sincerely, e shock me. The next thought that ran through my mind was that I wasn’t interested and nothing fit sup because I don’t like men that aren’t busy and productive also abeg. It took this bros an average of a minute to reply every single message I sent to him even though sometimes I delayed my replies by hours. Sincerely, you people are really trying hard to leave these streets. Better rest! No leave no transfer! I reject it in Jesus name for me sha!!!!

I have accepted that I’m super picky about the things I want especially when it comes to a relationship but right now, I’m torn between believing that being intentional is necessary or a tad extreme. Like I want that sweet spot in communication and the relationship in general. You know that point where you guys talk a lot but still give each other healthy space. That point where you see a lot but still have time to hangout with your other friends and family. That point where you do not feel suffocated by the love and there’s just enough space for you to spread your wings. I need that balance fr 😭

Wo, me I dunno about this relationship thing again o. Boya God will appear to me and ask for custom measurements because e be like sey my list dey grow every single day. If you ask me about something as “inconsequential” as kissing sef, I’m pretty sure I can conjure a list of attributes my future partner must possess. Well, I am a good teacher so I can teach him how to properly kiss me when we get to that point sha.

Anyway, the moral of this rant is that you people that I’ve promised marriage and asoebi this year, boya you will remove it from your calendar cos bruh!!!!!!! I know that some of you will come and shout “WGCDDE” but me I don’t think this year is feasible o. Let’s plan towards next year at least. I cannot even afford to get married as I Dey like this. Also, custom husband needs custom parts so e fit take time!

I know that a lot of you are kind people (I won’t call the names of the bad belles in this community but they know themselves) and you like me. Please, if you have any male in your life that is born again and spirit filled in all aspects of his life, between the ages of 27-32 (might be subject to change and is quite dependent on the individual), looking for a serious relationship (if God agrees sha), has money and is very generous , fine af (preferably dark and bearded) with good body, tall, really smart, has a good job (please I don’t want yahoo boy), does not smoke/do drugs/or have alcohol use disorder , has a wonderful family because I no get energy for wahala, is super kind to everyone, is not judgemental….. lemme stop here for now💀….. tell him to send me a mail osidipeoluwalolope@yahoo.co.uk because I might just be the answer to his mother’s prayers 😌

If he no Dey this country and can handle a LDR, that’s even very very good. Shey PR na your mate? If he has a strong passport that is coloured properly (not with green crayon abeg), lol, the wedding is in two months please.

If I get more than one, I will be sure to pick the one I want (and God says yes to…. if He says yes cos He can like to rain on my parade sometimes😒) and share the rest to you “God when” individuals on here. See me na! A kind king! You people should better tell me thank you.

Anyway, you people should root for me this time cos wahala be like Adam and Eve o!

P.S: A lot of you enjoyed my last video so here is another.

Please Future bae, I have abandonment issues. If you don’t pick my call without a sensible reason, I will then conclude that you hate me and want me to die so you can be free. Please don’t play all these games with me. I no get energy. I am quite aged and an elder in my community. Focus on yourself and your hustle but don’t leave me behind. Aja o ni gbe wa lomo lo o! Tenks!