Before I go any further, Iād like to apologise for the long break. A lot of you have been on my neck concerning a new blogpost but with all that was happening in the world, my soul was truly broken and I didnāt have it in me to write anything. I am truly sorry for starving you guys but ati wa online!
I am starting out this blogpost and I really have no idea what itās supposed to be about. I really hope that at the final fullstop, it ends up being a beautiful journey for us all.
A few days ago, I had a friend over and I was sharing my plans for marital life with him. I was joking but his reaction to it all actually made me take a step back and evaluate things. It was supposed to be a cooking day for me and I was legit tired so I told him how I couldnāt wait to be married because I would finally stop cooking and would instead order meals in bulk for my family so we could microwave when hungry.
He literally threw a fit and said his wife must know how to cook and clean for his family for a while before he could consider getting a maid and relieving her of her duties. His excuse was that in situations like a pandemic, there would be nowhere to order food from if she didnāt already know how to cook. He further said girlfriends should be making meals for their men at least once a month. We had a super long discussion concerning feminism but that one na story for another day.
This discussion with my friend sparked up questions and some turmoil in me. I went on my WhatsApp, asked how important cooking was to men in the choice of a future wife. The answers I got further confused me. Let me establish a few things before I delve into to my question. I understand that cooking is a basic life skill and anyone who knows how to eat should know how to cook. I also understand that cooking can be learnt just like mathematics or science. There are literally cookbooks/online recipes that can be followed. I believe that cooking isnāt restricted to a gender. Now, what is the whole craze behind women cooking?
Most men on my WhatsApp replied and said their wives must either learn or already know how to cook. A couple of them bragged about how they themselves could cook and would love to teach their wives if they couldnāt. Some said they would cook on days they could if she didnāt know how to but no one actually offered to assume the sole responsibility of cooking for their family.
You see, a woman is supposedly seen as the sole cook of her family and the man is allowed the freedom of sweeping in on his high horse once in a blue moon to make a basic meal for his family and he is automatically being labelled a wonderful husband and father. Why canāt the reverse be the case in homes where it is drawn that the woman was not gifted the ability of making edible substances? What is wrong with shuffling between the husband cooking and ordering bulk orders from food vendors on days he cannot?
Dear men, does it mean that if you meet a woman who is everything youāve prayed for and more (good home, a hoe for you alone, respectful, trustworthy, hardworking, go getter, and all that) but does not possess the ability of whipping up meals and is not interested in learning, you will break things off? How exactly does that work please?
I spoke to my friend on how if the President of the World Bank was a female and during one of her speeches spoke on how she served her husband meals before she left home really early and how she had to rush back home to do the same daily, would get a deafening applause but if a man came out to say the same even if he worked remotely and had a very flexible schedule, he would get a deafening silence instead. I actually remember being asked once how often I cooked for my ex and it was labelled as one of the reasons things ended. I was even encouraged to cook for my next frequently instead of ordering him food and to clean when I went visiting. It was supposed to make me more marriageable.
Well, I am of the opinion that men and women can be equal partners in their marriages and one isnāt greater or with more authority than the other. I also believe that everyone should choose what works for them. All I want to understand is the craze behind the whole women and cooking thing. If anyone understands, kindly educate me in the comment section.
Also, my darling women, can you marry a man that cannot cook? Kindly support your answer with an explanation.
P.S: Dear future husband and children
I love you so much and I love cooking but days I am not in the mood to, weād either order in, eat out or do water diet if your father refuses to cook. Also, mummy isnāt going to slave inside the kitchen on holidays like Christmas and Easter. Weād order food from amazing vendors, have so much fun and be happy.
I love youā¤ļø
I actually started reading this post the time it came out, but reading the caption made me realise I was hungry, so I went to cook...and I forgot to comment after I was doneš¬šš¶š½āāļø
Welcome back,
Cooking is a life skill and tbh Iām confused when people say the kitchen is the womanās primary office in the home. In my opinion, the entire home the coupleās office. If your partner doesnāt cook, (either because he/she canāt or doesnāt want to), then you have three options. You could pick food over love, you could assume the responsibility yourself, (WITHOUT BEING BITTER ABOUT IT), or you could order food / get a chef. I donāt believe in gender roles with regard to doing things at home. Itās human survival...itās a collective responsibility and should be treated as such. My partner is a great cook but she wonāt cook because she feels obligated to, but rather sheā¦
Well, I grew up in a house where once a male child complains that they are not supposed to be cooking or they don't like the food being cooked, my dad assigns the person to take over cooking for the next 2 weeks. Even though he did this with the notion that cooking is a life skill and a man must know how to cook so he can atleast survive bachelorhood and not that cooking is not gender specific, it helped myself and my brothers understand that cooking is nobody's designated duty. I remember countless days cooked for the whole family while my 15 and 17 year old sisters slept in their rooms and it's a normal thing.
However, Iā¦
Lmao. I've had this discussion with my current partner and tbh, if we can pay people who love to cook to get it done, no yawa. Both of us aren't useless in the kitchen, so that's fine. But no one has time to be doing gender roles inside the home abeg
Thanks for this blog post , I remember the day you threw the question opened on your status, I then asked my boyfriend would he still have asked me out if he knew I couldn't cook his response shooked me tho and he said NO that why will he be with someone who can't cook don't get me wrong he can cook tho but a lazy cook .Now my point is this term isn't just men saying it even we women defile or condem women who can't cook and make statements like *I wonder how she will marry if she can't cook*or *i pity you if you can't cook,when another woman takes him from you ,you will know how toā¦