Finding The One, Staying In Love

I said I was gonna drop a blogpost for every month. Well, I finished writing this one on the 24th of February but with the Nigerian Presidential Elections fast approaching, it seemed silly to post it at the time. Then I started with my usual procrastination. I know, I know. I'm working on it. Kindly read this with February mind because March's own is coming soon.

Anyway, how was Valentine's Day for you? Tell me! I wanna hear. As usual, I posted my picture from my Valentine outing. Guysssss, I got flowers for the first time ever. I'd definitely post a video of it after the writeup but it was the best thing ever. Loved it!

Well, just as I was about to write this blogpost in February, I was reminded by the Spirit of my friend’s book so I stole her book title and made it that of this blogpost. Please abeg, check out her book on her IG page @thelovewheel. You'd be better for it.

Onto today’s agenda! I have received quite a number of questions from my last blogpost and I would like to make this a follow up of some sorts and answer a few of the questions I received. Quite a number of people have asked me if I do not think I’m limiting my chances of finding a partner by being celibate. There’s that part of “Good men still exist even though they have sex” they bring up. Well, I’m not saying that people that are sexually active outside the confines of marriage are bad people. All I’m saying is that they aren’t just for me and sincerely, that's fine.

Another of my FAQs is "Don't you think that is a huge ask? Telling a man to not have sex again just because he likes you?". Actually, I would not do the telling. When people come to me and speak about wanting to take a journey of sexual purity, my first question to them is “why do you want to do this?”. I’m not asking them this to discourage them but if your why isn’t solid, 9 outta 10 times, you’ll fall. The only "why" that can stand the test of time is “Because God said it and I’m devoted to God’s words and plan”. I definitely do not want to be the reason of someone’s sexual purity. Rather, I want someone who understands the journey I’m on and mirrors it in his life. The journey of living a life totally submitted to God. This usually reminds me of Joseph. He was a single slave but understood that sleeping with Potiphar’s wife was first a sin against the God of Israel.

This brings me to the last question for today. "But you are not perfect. I’m sure you still sin once in a while. Why do you now think your own sin is different?". I would have liked to say that I do not commit sin but lemme answer this in a more honest way. Because of the God compass in me, I flee from the devil and all his works. I am able to restrain myself and redirect my focus on God so I’m not making life derailing mistakes. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I still have a bit of work to do in areas such as my patience level (it’s better than when I wrote my blogpost Yewa) and I get tired of people easily. However, I am constantly renewing my mind and taking active steps to walk in the Spirit and all its fruits. It is still unwise to continue in sin because there is an abundance of grace by God. That has not changed.

Ultimately, I have gotten to the point in my life where I now understand that marriage isn’t my purpose in life. Yes, I would love to get married someday but I am assured that God has created all things for my benefit. If He says another son of His is part of that benefit, then He will bring that son at the appointed time- Not earlier or later and he would be the right one. However, the most important reason I was created is to be fruitful and multiply. This means that there is a message I need to spread across the Earth and I am to make disciples of nations. My purpose in life is to know Christ and make Him known.

God does not require marriage from His children to require purpose from us. Many purposeful people in the bible were actually single. Right now as a single person, my goal is “how can I please God?”. I have discerned the season of my life I am in right now and I know that currently, I’m in the place of training and preparation for ministry.

On this note, I’d like to mention that God still connects people and is still a matchmaker. Your desire to be in a healthy relationship isn’t unnoticed by your Father and there is nothing wrong in having a sincere desire for love and companionship. Don’t feel the need to protect yourself and give off the vibe that you don’t want to be joyfully joined to someone in Christ (this was a lesson God taught me recently). I am not saying you should be desperate but instead learn to put yourself out there and meet people. The spirit of discernment will help you make the right choice. Remember it is better to be with nobody than the wrong somebody.

Most importantly, I want to reiterate that sexual purity is possible. I will always be an advocate of this. I have seen the light and I will proclaim it- 1 Thessalonians 4:3. I need more people to have reverence for the Holy Ghost they carry, their bodies as the temple of God, the marriage institution and even other people’s relationships.

Like I will always say, God still has sons (and daughters) of your spec. However, He will not give premium European brocade to be worn with bathroom slippers that has been sewn in 30 different places. While you’re waiting for your partner, become the kind of partner you desire.

What is my spec you might be wondering? Well, someone who believes in Jesus as the Saviour of the world and not just a prophet. Someone who has the consciousness of who He is in Christ and works daily on bringing others to the same consciousness. Someone who exhibits all fruits of the spirit and works on increasing his levels of them daily. A person that walks in the spirit and understands the purpose for which he was created. Someone I will also have feelings for.

As usual, I’m rooting for us all! God will do it at the appointed time ❤️