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Writer's pictureLelo “Ajikawo” Osidipe

Conversations with myself ❤️

Updated: Feb 5, 2020




Question 1: I want to know how you have an amazing life and supportive friends. I want to know how often you pray cos everything seems to be perfect for you. Yes, I know everybody has their fuckups deep down but you seem to have your life all planned out and working fine. I envy that. I want to know how you do it.


Ans: Social media is a scam. My life is great but I can assure you that most times it’s in shambles. It is totally far from perfect but the truth is no one puts the gory parts out there. I am only still smiling and standing because of my amazing support system and the grace is God. I have actually thought of ending it a lot of times. I have suffered from insane depression. I still have some bouts once in a while but the trick is not holding it in. I let myself feel. I cry if I want to.Heck, I cried for an entire week in January.

Concerning friends, trust me, I have been unlucky in that department in the past. People have hurt me a whole lot. I have had a friend come to my house and try to steal my mum’s car. I have had another steal about 200k from me.There are a lot of other stories like this. I always see the best in people even if they are full of nothing but shit. I give way too many second chances. My friends Rii and Buchi are tired of me and always question my judgement of character but the truth is, that’s my super power. Remember the parable of the seeds, I am that farmer. I sow love far and wide without caring. Some land on the good soil and those are the ones you see. The ones that land among the thorns or the rocks, well🤷🏾‍♀️. I get more pain than love in reality but I choose to focus more on the love. Also, I’m very appreciative and there’s a Yoruba adage that says “the child that is grateful for yesterday’s gift will get another one today”.

I have realised that in life we are just winging it. No one gets out of life alive so why should you be tighting your chest on matters? Love hard when there’s love to be had. When you chop L (cos it will always come), chop it in private, clean your mouth and come out laughing. You can choose to repeat the process as many times as you like until one sticks but the truth is, on your deathbed you’ll remember the fun times you had even with the people that came and went like seasons.

You should understand that humans are flawed and will always mess up. Don’t take it too personal. Also, remember always that you are the bag. Secure the shii outta yourself. If anything or anyone threatens your peace, joy or happiness, axe them away no matter how painful it is. Love them from afar but remember always that no matter how beautiful that flame is, it will burn you if you get too close to it.

Above all, God. Trust me there is a God. I’m not just saying this cos I was brought up in a church. I’m saying this cos I have seen his handiwork in my life. There is a God. Find solace in him.

Basically the trick is sow love, love hard, laugh harder, always feel and pray like hell.


Question 2: Is it wrong to have sex on your period?


Ans: I will be talking from a scientific standpoint (my degree cannot waste). It is absolutely not wrong to have sex while a lady is on her period. It actually helps with menstrual cramps and blood is a natural/huge lubricant. Unless either of you gets faint at the sight of blood, there is no reason to avoid period sex.

I’d be sharing some tips for period sex.

-It is liable to get messy so always use an extra covering on the bed. Use clothing/bedding that will not be missed.

-Use a condom to reduce the risk of STDs.

-Remove your tampons or menstrual cup before sex.

-Have baby wipes on hand to clean up immediately after.

-Make sure the other party is sure and comfortable with the idea.

-Be open, honest and try to relax.


Question 3: How do I stop overthinking? Overanalysing very little stuff until it blows up.


Ans: Firstly, no one gets out of life alive. Stop worrying so much. Remember that always.

Secondly, worrying/overthinking/overanalysing never solved any real problems. They never made anything better. The truth is we (the youngins) are so stressed out today cos we believe that everything needs to happen right now. We want the universe to so much align in our favours at this very moment. We forget that everything has its perfect timing and even that itself takes time.

We have this “I want” lifestyle that prevents us from truly enjoying the moment we are in. We need to understand that we would never be 20 or 25 or 23 years 6months 8weeks 12days ever again. Today is the oldest we have ever been but it is also the youngest we will ever be. We need to make the most of our youth. Make all the mistakes now. Learn the inner workings of love and life now. Make a game plan and perfect it. Have enough personal and fun time.

You don’t want to be 40 and wondering where all your youth went to. You don’t want to wake up one morning, roll over to see the rising horizon and realise that you spent all the time worrying about things you had absolutely no control over. Things that still aligned in their own perfect time without your help nor input.

Time flies. Make the most of it and stop worrying. We are all going to die anyway.


Question 4: What do you think about guys that control their women in the relationship?


Ans: It is a red flag to me. A relationship is supposed to be a partnership with both sides benefiting mutually and making up for each other’s weaknesses while complementing each other’s strengths. No one is above the other so no one should be “in control”. Once a guy shows signs of being controlling, it literally translates in my head as one that has tendencies to be physically and/or emotionally abusive and also vindictive.

I am a strong willed person. I cannot be told to do something and I will do it without been given a tangible reason. I like expressive and honest communication. You can only suggest and advice but my will/choice is still mine. You cannot take that from me. So when one tries to impose his/her decision on me, we are in for a royal rumble with me emerging as the victor.


Question 5: How do you do it? Like have so many friends/contacts, keep up with them all and still have time to take courses at work, read books, take care of your dogs, etc.


Ans: I suck at texting a whole lot. I have a lot of fights with close friends over this. I try to be better though. Pray for me please.

I suck at planning actually. I just try to make conscious efforts. I am a huge procrastinator but I am learning to not put more on my plate than I can actually finish at that time. I also do things according to their importance at that time.

I set deadlines for myself. There are days I get as little as 2/3 hours of sleep just because there is one book I need to finish.

About my dogs, they cannot die. Even if I neglect them, grandma Dey for them like starboy.

 

Question 6: How do you deal with girls that tell you that their body count is 2 or 3?


Ans: Firstly, who tf still bothers about body count??? It is archaic and purely stupid. Some people actually like and enjoy sex. There’s no more or less to it. The fact that the females are the ones with their body counts being questioned is just pure senile. Who were they having sex with? If you’re going to probe, at least probe everyone.

Also if you’re that stupid to still care and ask about body counts and she is also interested in replying, take whatever number she gives you as such. Who are you? The body count police? Don’t you have better things to do?

Body counts do not show what kind of person they are. There are virgins that are extremely wicked people and there are also people you’d call some choice names because of high sexual expertise that are one of the sweetest and kindest hearts ever. The main questions you should be asking are “Is he/she a good person?”, “Do they respect me and my decisions?”, “Do our values and beliefs align?”, etc.


Question 7: How do know you are with the right person? Don’t you get the feeling that there is someone out there that could be better?


Ans: The truth is there is no right person. There is always someone out there better than your partner but guess what, there are a thousand and one people better than you also. The key word is contentment.

Your relationship can only be what you and your partner build it up to be. There will always be someone better than the best person you can find. If you keep moving from one to another, you’d spend your life flitting like a butterfly.

I’d suggest you find someone who ticks most of your boxes especially the important ones and you both should work towards making your relationship that which you want it to be. Also, remove your eyes from other people. Love is a choice. A choice to remain with someone even on days you don’t particularly like them. Stick to your choice. If they are bad for your physical or mental health, please forget the love and run o.



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3 Comments


oseya20
oseya20
May 21, 2020

I think those that have read this before me were awed by the sincerity of these words that they forgot to comment😂


This is so engrossing, good work Lelo love😘

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Adeola
Adeola
Feb 06, 2020

never will i read a lelo article and not learn new words or combination of words📝❤️

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shodeinde.omolola
shodeinde.omolola
Feb 05, 2020

🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

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