Communication is the key but what is the lock???

I know a lot of you were expecting a post about my journey so far as BeYouTiful is one today but what do we say to the god of clichés? NOT TODAY!!!!!!!!

So I’m going to start this post by saying that I do not understand the whole concept of nagging. I also do not understand why a mental picture of raised voices and women come to mind when one hears the term (I guess we have the media to blame for those). If you are an expert on this, kindly school me a little in the comment section. Na little I talk o. No go do pass yourself.

According to my dictionary, nagging can be defined as “constantly harassing someone about something”. In my opinion, everyone that has been termed a “nag” is just someone trying to communicate their feelings. If action was actually made to correct their complaints, I am sure they would not need to persistently talk or like most people like to put it, complain endlessly. Imagine you had asthma (an ordinary imagination abeg) and would ask of only one thing from your friends “Please do not smoke or sweep when I’m around. I have chronic asthma and it triggers it”. Now Imagine that every single time you were around them, they constantly smoked and swept. Like some spirit would tell them “Arise and sweepeth your floor for XYZ is around”. Why do you have to be termed a nag because you point out their misdoings? Why isn’t the fault on their end especially since you’ve mentioned a couple of times that you would want them to do otherwise?

Every Saturday, my mother lists all the chores she has for me to do. My mother is the type of person that likes things being done as soon as she says but I am more of the “at my own pace” person. She constantly complains until I finally do as she asks. If I’m asked to do something asides chores and I take a week before doing it, I get to hear about it everyday until I do. I find that completely normal. She wants something and I am holding out on it. It is only fair for her to complain or remind me.

Before saying that someone is nagging about a particular issue, how about we sit them down, ask them to explicitly explain how our actions or sometimes lack of it make them feel and how we can actually do better. You cannot expect people to keep quiet when uncomfortable or unhappy. That’s like dying in silence.

A lot of people are scared to say how they really feel about situations because they are scared of being called a nag. After so long of keeping quiet, the lid topples off and everything that has been kept bottled up brims to the surface devouring everything in its path. Most times, it is the shared relationship between both people that ends up beyond repair.

I just think pure, open communication is the way to go. Do not bottle your feelings up. Explain yourself in clear and concise statements. You do not need to raise your voice to be heard. I’m sure their hearing works perfectly. Also if you’re in a relationship (I don’t mean just two people dating) with someone that dismisses your feelings on things that are important to you all/most of the time , you are in the wrong ship. Get another co-captain.

If you think otherwise, let me know your thoughts. God’s love and light, dearies.

P.S: I would be giving out N5,000 cash prize, two banana bread loaves from Comfort Treats, vouchers to two amazing food vendors (Bernadines and Mo's Regal Kitchen) and a shirt from DWavyKid.

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