If you ever asked me what love is or if I think love is ever enough? I would be quick to chant 1st Corinthians 13. A few months ago, it was even my lock screen image. I would pick my phone, read it and convince myself that if he didn’t have those attributes, he wasn’t the love for me. Christ is love and my man is supposed to love me how Christ loves His church. To me, that implied no physical or emotional abuse, good communication like Christ did in His teachings, ability to correct and be firm in corrections and a lot of other things that could be seen in the New Testament.
Once I saw that I started liking a guy and I was close to being all head over heels in love, I would revisit the chapter and jump straight to the verse 4 and read through till 8. At these verses, I would insert the guy’s name and try to gauge if he met up with the characteristics of love. Let’s imagine his name is Yewa. You’d see me saying “Yewa is patient and is kind”. I would then stop to see if Yewa actually was patient or kind. Depending on the circumstances, I would remember an instance where I went on a date with Yewa and he was totally rude to the waiter for no reason. There, I would decide that Yewa was definitely not kind. It could also be that Yewa was boastful or proud and enjoyed droning about himself and his accomplishments without leaving room for other discussions.
This action gave me great discernment about others but I was so focused on finding the right one that I forgot to be the right one. Never for once did I place my name in the bible verse. A few days ago, I was having a discussion with someone and it dawned on me that I was self-centred in “love”. Naturally as a person, I was not but once someone was in love with me, I expected to be the focal point of all their love, time, and attention. Irrespective of anything (except maybe family) I was placed alongside, I expected to be the chosen one. I was to be his everything and he was to be totally consumed with me.
I am not patient but I am kind. I do not envy but I may boast and I am proud. I am rude. I could be self-seeking or demanding of my own way. I am not easily angered but I definitely keep record of wrongs. I do not delight in evil but I rejoice with the truth. I never give up, never lose faith, I am always hopeful but I don’t endure all things (toxic relationships are a no no biko). Above all, I never fail. Here I was giving the bare minimum but expecting another who was perfect.
Since Christ is love and we are supposed to be conformed to the image of Christ, this means we are supposed to be love. Let me use a few mathematical equations to explain this.
Christ = Love
Believers = Christians = Christ
Christians = Love
The more we become like Christ, the more we become the right type of person for someone else to like. So instead of doing soul searching of another to see if he/she is the right one, focus on being the right person first. Like I always say, run fast towards God and if anyone keeps up, introduce yourself.
Trust me, it’s easy to sit down and write all the nuggets of wisdom. Emulating them is the main problem.
P.S: I wrote this article in November and totally forgot about it🤦🏾♀️
To be honest a lot of us need to think like this 💕
Be who you want others to be to you. A beautiful piece ❣️
Nice one
Exactly...that's how its supposed to be..
Wow. This is so true. I except them to be so consumed with me that when they're not, I conclude they've fallen out of love with me, not realising they're humans to and need time to themselves sometimes. I can't always be the focal point. I've come to the realization of this and its helping me become a better judge of character and become whom I want to be in a relationship with.