India 99 - 1 Nigeria 🔥

I was going to post something abstract and then add a postscript about today being my 3rd year of staying sexually pure when I heard God tell me to speak about my journey so far. So that’s what I will do.

One thing I realised at that moment while having that conversation with my Father was that there was still a twinge of shame associated with my decisions and I’d rather keep quiet than let people know where I was coming from. However, that’s the beauty of salvation. God leaving the 99 that are safe to save the 1 that is in jeopardy. I was so far gone that I never believed I’d make my way home but here we are. Safe in the Father’s arms. I have experienced grace.

I think an important thing I needed to do was get comfortable with who I had now become. The one without condemnation living every day in the Father’s will. The one that is proof that there is no one too far gone for God to bring back home. The one that is a living testimony of the potency of the transformative power of God’s word. The one God loves and desires.

When I was 13, my virginity was taken from me and for the longest, I blamed myself. You see, I was making out with someone who was 5 years older than I was and he forced himself inside me. I tried to fight but he told me a lie about it being more painful the next time I tried to do it if he didn’t finish the work properly this time. So I stayed there and let him finish what he had started. From that moment, I refused to see him anymore so he started telling everyone how he had scored me. It was mortifying but I held my head high.

A few years later, I was a teenager who was having sex weekly. I could stay away from it but the only time I felt a resemblance of love and want was in the arms of another so I freely gave my body away to people who did not deserve to know my full name (Fun fact: I dated someone for 6 months who called me a wrong name every single day and I did nothing about it). However, the high never lasted for long.

By the time I was 20, I had such a sky-high body count that I stopped counting. What mattered to me was the high that I kept chasing fix after fix. Then I got into a committed relationship with a man who was halfway around the country. He gave me the best love I had experienced and I stopped having sex with multiple partners. It was a great reprieve from my routine STD screening tests and pregnancy scares. My love tank was getting filled without me needing to bare my body and for the first time, I felt seen, wanted and adored. The relationship dealt me a heavy blow and I went back to the status quo.

Long story short, one day I was having sex, and the next day I made a conscious decision to not have sex until marriage. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure I could do it but I owed it to myself to do my very best and three years later, we are here.

I had just begun to read my Bible in June 2020. I joined a Bible accountability group and the word of God became something I daily read and meditated upon rather than something I came across in passing or heard in church. The more I read, the more I wanted to know and become. I wanted to do better but I didn’t know how. I had a lot of questions. There was a yearning in my spirit. Something was missing and I felt so dissatisfied with life. The head of the group was a pastor and he helped me in getting baptised with the Holy Spirit in January 2021. A few days later, some of us asked him similar questions about a topic. We were reading Genesis and everyone was just hearing from God. We were amazed. Due to this, he decided to do a two-part teaching series on Zoom which he titled “How to hear God” where he explained how to know when you were hearing God and after, introduced me to my first Papa Hagins book “How you can be led by the Spirit of God”. I devoured this book and it all became clear to me. God was calling me out of sin. He had been for a while but my mind was so clouded with noise that I couldn’t accurately pick out His voice.

There was one issue though. I was in a relationship with someone I genuinely loved and cared about and was asked to end it. This was so hard but I did it and God continued His work on me. 12 months later, it was undeniable that I wasn’t the same person anymore. 3 years later I cannot even recognise who I was then. God showed and is still showing me what could happen if a person yielded completely to Him. That love that I searched all over for, I received even better from Him. I got the best kind of love that made me so comfortable with waiting for the partner God would have me be with.

Now I will not come here and say that it’s been a breeze ever since. The devil will play his tricks but we are never to be caught unfresh. We see him coming from ten thousand miles away and we send him back to where he’s coming from. One thing that has always worked for me in my journey is intimate devotion, accountability and common sense.

On days that I haven’t prayed or studied my Bible, I find myself more susceptible to these feelings when they creep in. Then I realised that my devotion is my preservation. I came to a point of understanding and confession that He who has called me is able to keep me from stumbling. His Spirit is in me and this means that I can do all things including a life of purity.

I was speaking to someone a year ago who needed practical guidance on staying sexually pure and felt “reading your Bible and praying” was generic. Personally, I do not think you should advise a believer on any issue without adding reading the Bible and praying. That’s our first line of defence against the attack of the enemy. We have to constantly walk in the spirit so we do not fulfil the lusts of the flesh. However, while there are passages in the bible that help with sexual purity, I will not tell someone fighting lust to go and read Genesis. Yes, it is still part of the bible but it will not help. Prayer on the other hand helps to build stature and keeps your spirit man stirred up and able to fight. There were some brutal days when I went to God crying and asking for help to stay strong because I wasn’t understanding what was going on. One verse that was highlighted in my spirit was 2 Corinthians 12:9a

”And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

God works through us to will and to do. You are not doing it all alone.

I do not have designated accountability partners but I have people who might land in the hospital if I tell them that I had sex outside marriage. I have people who will shed heart-wrenching tears, whose faces would be cloaked with disappointment and sadness if I do such. Once I am battling temptation, I conjure the faces of these people and sincerely, the feelings die. I owe it to them just as I do myself to see this through. They have laboured over me greatly in the place of prayer and love.

You might be wondering how common sense comes to play in this situation but except you lack it, I see no reason why you would decide to visit a person of the opposite sex you are attracted to during periods of temptation. If the person is also someone of sexual purity, that’s wickedness. You want to use your own and distract omolomo. You want him/her to fight their own battles and still help you fight yours. Haba! Fear God!

The worst one is visiting someone who doesn’t uphold the same beliefs you do and will most definitely “try their luck”. While you might say no a few times, if you do not run out of there like the house is on fire, you might find yourself singing a different tune and testing your limits. Better still, stay in your house. Don’t visit people alone and if you “need” to visit them, make sure there are chaperones. Public outings are great. They don’t have to be expensive so curate intentional and budget-friendly activities for you and yours.

A life with Christ is the best kind of life there is. Take it from someone who has lived in both worlds. You don’t need to see things for yourself. Jesus has seen them all and He is helping you to be better. This new year, no gree for the devil. Tell him enough is enough and he cannot continue controlling your life. Submit to the Father and let Him show you a whole new and better world. Draw near to God and let Him draw near to you. Stop coasting through life like a kite in the sky. You deserve better!

I am definitely rooting for you! A life with God is possible. It’s the best decision you can make for yourself. All you need to do is say this simple prayer

Lord Jesus, I believe you are the Son of God, that you died on the cross to rescue me from sin and death and to restore me to my Father. I choose now to turn from my sins and every part of my life that does not please you. I choose you. I give myself to you. Help me to live for you for the rest of my life. Amen!

Welcome to the biggest and best family on Earth. Kindly send me a message at osidipeoluwalolope@yahoo.co.uk

I would love to follow you up and make sure you have the right tools for kingdom success.

Finally, I want to say that a life free from inconsistencies as a believer is also possible. In fact, it should be the norm. You have been given this life because you are equipped to live it. Do better. Stop letting sin lurk at your door ready to devour you.

P.S: I believe celibacy and sexual purity and different things. Celibacy is abstaining from sex for a while due to a myriad of reasons. Sexual purity, on the other hand, is treating sex how God intended for it to be treated. This means that as a single person, no sex/sexual contact with yourself or anyone else and as a married person, faithfulness to your partner and body.